It seems that those times that are most difficult provoke me most to honor God.
When I was diagnosed with testicular cancer some 10 years ago, I found myself driven to the heart of God. Something was out of my control, and so I turned to the One who is never caught unaware, who uses everything for His glory and my good.
When I suffered my second broken engagement, I found myself driven to the heart of God. I was out of control, making a mess of intimate relationships, and needed serious help. During that time of brokenness the Lord brought wisdom and peace and clarity and resolve.
When my pre-born baby Noah died earlier this year, I found myself driven to the heart of God. That my daughter had died, without having even enjoyed her first breath, illustrated my inability to have any meaningful control. But I know who is in control, and that brings peace.
A month ago, when I was told that my position with Boundless was being eliminated, I found myself driven to the heart of God. For five years, my identity has been wrapped up in my work as editor of Boundless, and this news came as a great blow. But God is sovereign over my vocation; He is in control.
At the moment I heard the news about my layoff, I knew that God would walk me through this difficult time, and that I needed to trust Him through the process, to see how He would provide for my family of five (soon to be a family of six).
I am accountable to my employer, and to Boundless constituents, but ultimately I am responsible to God Himself. And so for the past painful month, I’ve been doing my best to honor the Lord by trying to ensure Boundless continues without me, and trying to express grace in my heart and in my actions toward those who will continue the Boundless ministry.
This is difficult. I love the ministry of Boundless, and the ministry of Focus on the Family. It’s hard to leave behind something of which I’ve been a part for five years. And there are lots of uncertainties in this current market for jobs and real estate. This is all difficult.
But the truth remains: God is good, and God loves my family and me, and God is in control, and God is using this difficult time to discipline me into the person He intends for me to become. I have to keep my heart soft, and submit to His will, so that I can make the most of His discipline.
So today is my final official day with Boundless. My final day interacting with you through the blog, Facebook, the e-newsletter editorial, the webzine articles, and private e-mails. And I’m sobered. But I know who’s writing the script, and so I take heart.
As we prayerfully enter this new season, my search for employment is wide open. I’m willing to move anywhere in the world to become part of the right organization, to become the right fit for the right team. You can review my resume and such on my website, TedSlater.com
From the BoundlessLine blog.
Copyright 2010, Focus on the Family.
Used by permission.