So, I was spending time on a singles forum this morning, and came across a comment from a young lady who complained that she had never been on a date in her life. Next to her comment was her profile photo.

My first thought: Maybe it’s because you’re fat.

She wasn’t large-boned; she wasn’t full-figured; she wasn’t a bit pudgy. It really wouldn’t be much of an issue if she were just a bit overweight. The thing is, she was morbidly obese [offensive phrase removed by the author].

The truth (and I’m navigating dangerously offensive territory here — out of a desire to lay out the plain truth) is that most men do not want to date women whose bodies betray a lifestyle of inactivity and over-consumption. Any chemistry that might spark from such a woman’s bubbly personality simply fizzles [offensive phrase removed by the author].

Some women have medical problems that facilitate being overweight. Maybe a doctor can help you treat that, or maybe it’s just something that you’ve got to live with, with a clean conscience. (Truth to balance out my overall thesis: There are some guys that find chubbiness to be endearing.)

But other women simply pack in the calories while lounging in front of the tube, and then grumble that guys are so shallow that they’ll never give them a second chance. No, maybe they’re not shallow; maybe you’re just fat.

My wife enjoys watching “The Biggest Loser” (while running on her treadmill). That show is evidence that overweight gluttons can change their lifestyles, become healthy, and lose weight. They can come to steward their bodies in a responsible, disciplined way.

If you’re obese, you can do something about it. Maybe start by exchanging that second helping of lasagna for a salad, or that bag of chips for some celery and unbuttered popcorn, or that milkshake for a peach, or that cherry Coke for a glass of ice water. Then get a membership at the local gym, and get in shape. You’re not necessarily looking to become a twig; just try to get physically fit. People do this all the time; you can do it, too.

Don’t let your weight become a reason to feel sorry for yourself or feel condemned; see it as a wake-up call to take action in becoming a healthier person.

And who knows? Maybe after a few months and a dozen dropped pounds you’ll meet a formerly fat guy at the gym who’ll ask you out on your first date.

(OK, I’m feeling a bit convicted to return to the gym myself. I’ve got my swim trunks in the car; maybe I’ll head out of work around 4 this afternoon.)

Ted Slater